You're too late mate - you have been under surveillance for some considerable time. It would appear from the scrutiny-records that your equanimity was a thought and never manifestly existed.
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” ~Antoine De Saint-Exupery~
Being a camera to yourself is freedom. As long as you live to fulfill the expectations of other cameras, you will merely pay attention to what you wear and how you comb your hair - you will still be asleep.
A father knocks on his son's door. "Jaime," he says, "wake up!" Jaime answers, "I don't want to get up, Papa." The father shouts, "Get up, you have to go to school." Jaime says, "I don't want to go to school." "Why not?" asks the father. "Three reasons," says Jaime. "First, because it's so dull; second, the kids tease me; and third, I hate school." And the father says, "Well, I am going to give you three reasons why you must go to school. First, because it is your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old, and third, because you are the headmaster."