Hi,

Maybe consider not taking your thoughts too seriously? Get used to them, the nature of your mind is to make thoughts. Zazen isn't reliant on stopping your thoughts, its simply sitting and not engaging your thoughts **or rejecting them**. Maybe the thought that your thoughts are something other than they are (i.e. they are fleeting and harmless) is the problem?

I have an active mind like most other people, it bugs me sometimes like most other people's mind bugs them, but when sitting I just let thoughts arise and fade naturally; all thoughts that ist not judging them 'good' or 'bad', not judging emotions 'good' and 'bad', not seeking any escape or special state, things just as they are, as they arise before we welcome or reject them.

Good luck,

Harry.

You're still holding on to ideas that things have to be a certain way and so your experiences fluster you. Then you think "oh yes, things don't have to be a certain way, they are just as they are", but instead of really realizing this it just becomes another thought with all sorts of preconceptions that you impose on your experiences and your actions. First ask if you are interested in truth or in feeding your self.

This might help you:

"Once there was a disciplinarian monk who had kept the precepts all his life. As he was walking one night, he stepped on something that squished, which he imagined to be a frog, a mother frog laden with eggs. Mortified at the thought of having killed a pregnant frog, when the monk went to sleep that night he dreamed that hundreds of frogs came to him demanding his life. He was utterly terrified.

Come morning, the monk went to look for the frog he had squashed and found that it had only been an overripe eggplant. At that moment the monk’s perplexities abruptly ceased; realizing there is nothing concrete in the world, for the first time he was really able to apply it practically in life. Now I ask you, when he stepped on it by night, was it a frog or an eggplant? If it was a frog, yet when he looked at dawn it was an eggplant; if it was an eggplant, yet there were frogs demanding his life the night before. Can you decide? I'll try to decide for you:

          Feelings of frogs may be shed,

          but the idea of eggplant remains.

          If you would be free

          Of the idea of eggplant,

          Strike the evening chime at noon.” -Foyan

Any one else have the same issue and if so any ways of dealing with it ?

Some times things are not what they seem. Panic attacks can be one of those. For some reason your body becomes excited (subconscious or autonomic storm) and your mind is impressed. You think “must fight or flight” but you see no danger. These leads to more anxiety and down the hill you tumble. There are good medications to handle the problem: Beta blockers to limit the storms or Paxil for anxiety. MU

I am no longer smart enough to know what is natural and what is unnatural. That smartness is gone. I do know that a panic attack can be the worst of the worst. I had them for a while and they were mentally debilitating. Meditation cured them but it took time. Offer yourself the same compassion you would offer a stranger. Why be in pain? It will dull your concentration. Pills can be useful.  MU

Quote: "The Jesus prayer is simple. And the way it moves from the lips to the mind to the heart is simpler. "
.........

Jerome David Salinger  -

Zooey (1957)

• I swear to you, you're missing the whole point of the Jesus Prayer. The Jesus Prayer has one aim, and one aim only. To endow the person who says it with Christ-Consciousness. Not to set up some little cozy, holier-than-thou trysting place with some sticky, adorable divine personage who'll take you in his arms and relieve you of all your duties and make all your nasty Weltschmerzen and Professor Tuppers go away and never come back. And by God, if you have intelligence enough to see that — and you do — and yet you refuse to see it, then you're misusing the prayer, you're using it to ask for a world full of dolls and saints and no Professor Tuppers.

• "You can say the Jesus Prayer from now till doomsday, but if you don't realize that the only thing that counts in the religious life is detachment, I don't see how you'll ever even move an inch. Detachment, buddy, and only detachment. Desirelessness. 'Cessation from all hankerings.' It's this business of desiring, if you want to know the goddam truth, that makes an actor in the first place. Why're you making me tell you things you already know? Somewhere along the line — in one damn incarnation or another, if you like — you not only had a hankering to be an actor or an actress but to be a good one. You're stuck with it now. You can't just walk out on the results of your own hankerings. Cause and effect, buddy, cause and effect. The only thing you can do now, the only religious thing you can do, is act. Act for God, if you want to — be God's actress, if you want to. What could be prettier? You can at least try to, if you want to — there's nothing wrong in trying." There was a slight pause. "You'd better get busy, though, buddy. The goddam sands run out on you every time you turn around. I know what I'm talking about. You're lucky if you get time to sneeze in this goddam phenomenal world."

Serial Killers favorite story after Catcher In The Rye.

Quote: "Food and what you drink have a big impact on your emotions and behaviour.  Sugars, transfats, caffine, high fat foods can make panic attacks worse.
Try a raw food diet meaning most fruits and vegetables but staying away from trophical fruits.  Salt is another one that can make it worse since salt raises the blood pressure and drink enough water. Filtered water, no coffee, tea and all that crap including milk. "
.........

yes...though not eating-dirinking which listed can assist , it won't cease fear...fear not clearly seen will remain

I used to suffer from insomnia in my youth. 

I could not fight it, so I just slept every other night.

Then I took up self-hypnosis and that cured it.  

It hasn't been a problem since.

PANIC.

ITS JUST DENIAL PUNISHING YOU.

GUILT DRAWS PUNISHMENT, ALWAYS.

Admit and accept that you are damned angry and that you HATE.

ANGRY and HATE.

ADMIT IT.

You wont panic any more.

It has taken me my whole life to accept that I HATE. I REALLY DO.

What next????

wrong

Mr. Chontri,

Im at another city now I'll keep going