 |
| →→→→ |
 |
TOPIC: BAKSHEESH |
|
|
|
Posted on May.23.2008 @ 02:25PM EDT by ______
Cat push-creeps in from out bedraggled wet and fixes me with the accusing eye of three broody hen strangers in a parliament of rooks gallery debating baksheesh corn out of a cacophonous din absorbed in a violent electrical storm unleashing explosive thunderclaps and blindingly spectacular lightning strikes the air roaring fire-hot and wood boiling bled through a lashing torrent of water - western science's way of telling me to switch off the computer.
|
|
↓Go to Latest Reply
|
→Reply to this Topic
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from ______
May.24.2008
05:33PM EDT
|
|
My mother has some bad news for me today. A nephew, diagnosed with schizophrenia and home from hospital yesterday offered to walk his father's dog. Time passed and his dad starts to worry that he seems to have been gone a long time, so he sets off to look for him. He finds the dog and then he finds his son. The dog is going crazy. His son has hanged himself from the branch of a tree with the dog-lead. He doesn't know how he does it, but dad climbs the tree and saves the life of his son. A few more seconds and he would have been dead. And I feel the hopelessness, the boy's suffering, the suffering of the family and I imagine what that must be like - finding your child trying to brutally end their physical existence and so young. And as one thought morphs into another, I wonder what a stranger would do if, out for a walk, they came upon someone trying to end their life. Would they intervene or would they stand aside and allow the consequence of the act, allow the action to play out? Would they have to think before deciding what to do or to not do? To act or not to act? Or would they just act without thought in order to save the life of one so intent on destroying it? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82362
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.24.2008
06:39PM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
once my son was in the river and the current took him down and out..his aunt grabbed him while I stood on shore frozen, unable to move. |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82363
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from ______
May.24.2008
08:11PM EDT
|
|
Discovering someone hanging from a tree by the neck alive, thinking attempted suicide would be an assumption, potentially a lie, a wrong judgement, an example of being trapped in conditioned thought, prejudicial mental processes, when what is being witnessed could just as easliy be the result of a game gone wrong, an accident, or attempted murder. |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82368
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from ______
May.24.2008
08:17PM EDT
|
|
Action as total action, acting happening without anyone being there doing the acting does seem to have an unquantifiable relationship with thought. |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82369
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from lehish
May.24.2008
08:21PM EDT
→Email lehish
|
|
Quote: "Action as total action, acting happening without anyone being there doing the acting does seem to have an unquantifiable relationship with thought. "
.........
"seems"
|
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82370
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from ______
May.24.2008
08:29PM EDT
|
|
nowhere news
that is clear
It's not me
who is here
|
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82371
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from ______
May.24.2008
08:39PM EDT
|
|
So who the hell is doing the talking, the typing, the climbing and the swinging, the saving and the dying, the crying and the despairing, the accusing and the loving, and to whom and who is going to answer for whom and how? This isn't a question for anyone - this is the eye of a muse before bedtime. |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82373
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from lehish
May.24.2008
08:41PM EDT
→Email lehish
|
|
Quote: "So who the hell is doing the talking, the typing, the climbing and the swinging, the saving and the dying, the crying and the despairing, the accusing and the loving, and to whom and who is going to answer for whom and how? This isn't a question for anyone - this is the eye of a muse before bedtime."
.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5xIqr-YKBc |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82374
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Woodsman
May.24.2008
09:45PM EDT
|
|
beautiful shining spring leaves on young limbs make eternal golden rays of light come from earth rising heavenward |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82375
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.24.2008
09:58PM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
:) he feels familiar |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82376
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.24.2008
10:02PM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
flower |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82378
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.24.2008
10:16PM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "
Discovering someone hanging from a tree by the neck alive, thinking attempted suicide would be an assumption, potentially a lie, a wrong judgement, an example of being trapped in conditioned thought, prejudicial mental processes, when what is being witnessed could just as easliy be the result of a game gone wrong, an accident, or attempted murder.
"
......... "
.........
rarely do I know if what is written in this place is what experiencied or a story or...whatever?????? but when someone write of something that looks to hurt..I want to comfort... even though maybe not necessary... and the first words written erased..by what or who? for what caused the change? and it is said" even if just a story..." |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82380
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.24.2008
10:17PM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "
Quote: "Action as total action, acting happening without anyone being there doing the acting does seem to have an unquantifiable relationship with thought. "
.........
"seems"
"
......... "
.........
while writing a letter "seems" was written.. and the idea that of course "seems" is not a proper way of writing it............. of course |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82381
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Woodsman
May.24.2008
10:34PM EDT
|
|
life goes up to the scarlet sky |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82397
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from lehish
May.24.2008
11:37PM EDT
→Email lehish
|
|
Quote: "Quote: "
Quote: "Action as total action, acting happening without anyone being there doing the acting does seem to have an unquantifiable relationship with thought. "
.........
"seems"
"
......... "
.........
while writing a letter "seems" was written.. and the idea that of course "seems" is not a proper way of writing it............. of course
"
......... "
.........
typo....was "seem" from "Action as total action, acting happening without anyone being there doing the acting does seem to have an unquantifiable relationship with thought. "
|
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82400
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from lehish
May.24.2008
11:40PM EDT
→Email lehish
|
|
Quote: "Quote: "
Discovering someone hanging from a tree by the neck alive, thinking attempted suicide would be an assumption, potentially a lie, a wrong judgement, an example of being trapped in conditioned thought, prejudicial mental processes, when what is being witnessed could just as easliy be the result of a game gone wrong, an accident, or attempted murder.
"
......... "
.........
rarely do I know if what is written in this place is what experiencied or a story or...whatever?????? but when someone write of something that looks to hurt..I want to comfort... even though maybe not necessary... and the first words written erased..by what or who? for what caused the change? and it is said" even if just a story..."
"
......... "
.........
"caused the change" ? ..."caused" ? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82401
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from lehish
May.24.2008
11:47PM EDT
→Email lehish
|
|
Quote: "beautiful shining spring leaves on young limbs make eternal golden rays of light come from earth rising heavenward "
.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17i-0dswg0o |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82402
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.24.2008
11:56PM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "Quote: "Quote: "
Discovering someone hanging from a tree by the neck alive, thinking attempted suicide would be an assumption, potentially a lie, a wrong judgement, an example of being trapped in conditioned thought, prejudicial mental processes, when what is being witnessed could just as easliy be the result of a game gone wrong, an accident, or attempted murder.
"
......... "
.........
rarely do I know if what is written in this place is what experiencied or a story or...whatever?????? but when someone write of something that looks to hurt..I want to comfort... even though maybe not necessary... and the first words written erased..by what or who? for what caused the change? and it is said" even if just a story..."
"
......... "
.........
"caused the change" ? ..."caused" ?
"
......... "
.........
why responding? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82403
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.24.2008
11:57PM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "Quote: "Quote: "
Quote: "Action as total action, acting happening without anyone being there doing the acting does seem to have an unquantifiable relationship with thought. "
.........
"seems"
"
......... "
.........
while writing a letter "seems" was written.. and the idea that of course "seems" is not a proper way of writing it............. of course
"
......... "
.........
typo....was "seem" from "Action as total action, acting happening without anyone being there doing the acting does seem to have an unquantifiable relationship with thought. "
"
......... "
.........
yeah |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82404
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from lehish
May.25.2008
12:06AM EDT
→Email lehish
|
|
Quote: "Quote: "Quote: "Quote: "
Discovering someone hanging from a tree by the neck alive, thinking attempted suicide would be an assumption, potentially a lie, a wrong judgement, an example of being trapped in conditioned thought, prejudicial mental processes, when what is being witnessed could just as easliy be the result of a game gone wrong, an accident, or attempted murder.
"
......... "
.........
rarely do I know if what is written in this place is what experiencied or a story or...whatever?????? but when someone write of something that looks to hurt..I want to comfort... even though maybe not necessary... and the first words written erased..by what or who? for what caused the change? and it is said" even if just a story..."
"
......... "
.........
"caused the change" ? ..."caused" ?
"
......... "
.........
why responding?
"
......... "
.........
what "why' ? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82406
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from 9999999
May.25.2008
12:34AM EDT
→Email 9999999
|
|
D:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82407
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Snibbler
May.25.2008
01:50AM EDT
|
|
Quote: "life goes up to the scarlet sky
"
.........
U in love or something?.. .
|
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82408
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Woodsman
May.25.2008
05:20AM EDT
|
|
You got apples? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82414
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from ______
May.25.2008
08:45AM EDT
|
|
Quote: "Quote: "
Discovering someone hanging from a tree by the neck alive, thinking attempted suicide would be an assumption, potentially a lie, a wrong judgement, an example of being trapped in conditioned thought, prejudicial mental processes, when what is being witnessed could just as easliy be the result of a game gone wrong, an accident, or attempted murder.
"
.........
rarely do I know if what is written in this place is what experiencied or a story or...whatever?????? but when someone write of something that looks to hurt..I want to comfort... even though maybe not necessary... and the first words written erased..by what or who? for what caused the change? and it is said" even if just a story..." "
.........
What is written about a nephew attempting to hang himself from a tree, his father intervening and stopping his son from killing himself, news of the event as told to me by my mother is experience, it's real, and just a story.
And now the father thinks about the years he has heard his son speak of nothing else but ending his life, of a perpetual seeking of blackness; he thinks of the help he has sought for his son from doctors and psychiatrists, [this is the hardest case we have come across sir], medication, heavy-duty anti-psychotic chemical coshes and he thinks of his estranged wife, my sister, her anguish and guilt, his feelings of guilt, collective guilt - 'why is he like this? it must be something we did or didn't do.' He goes outward and rails against everybody else who he says doesn't care about his son, a world which doesn't care about anything and the anger washes over a horrible fear he can taste. He sinks further into reverie and thinks what he thinks is the unthinkable, that he could have left him hanging from the tree. It would have been easy, he thinks, just leave him there, let him have what he wants - why didn't he think of that at the time? He reconstructs the image, the dog-lead ligature, tight, his son's blue face, popping eye-balls, swollen discoloured tongue protruding from a clenched jaw, a gurgling from the throat, the smell of evacuated bowel hanging in the air like rotten fruit. And he doesn't understand. |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82417
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.25.2008
09:41AM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "Quote: "Quote: "
Discovering someone hanging from a tree by the neck alive, thinking attempted suicide would be an assumption, potentially a lie, a wrong judgement, an example of being trapped in conditioned thought, prejudicial mental processes, when what is being witnessed could just as easliy be the result of a game gone wrong, an accident, or attempted murder.
"
.........
rarely do I know if what is written in this place is what experiencied or a story or...whatever?????? but when someone write of something that looks to hurt..I want to comfort... even though maybe not necessary... and the first words written erased..by what or who? for what caused the change? and it is said" even if just a story..."
rarely do I know if what is written in this place is what experiencied or a story or...whatever?????? but when someone write of something that looks to hurt..I want to comfort... even though maybe not necessary... and the first words written erased..by what or who? for what caused the change? and it is said" even if just a story..." "
.........
What is written about a nephew attempting to hang himself from a tree, his father intervening and stopping his son from killing himself, news of the event as told to me by my mother is experience, it's real, and just a story.
And now the father thinks about the years he has heard his son speak of nothing else but ending his life, of a perpetual seeking of blackness; he thinks of the help he has sought for his son from doctors and psychiatrists, [this is the hardest case we have come across sir], medication, heavy-duty anti-psychotic chemical coshes and he thinks of his estranged wife, my sister, her anguish and guilt, his feelings of guilt, collective guilt - 'why is he like this? it must be something we did or didn't do.' He goes outward and rails against everybody else who he says doesn't care about his son, a world which doesn't care about anything and the anger washes over a horrible fear he can taste. He sinks further into reverie and thinks what he thinks is the unthinkable, that he could have left him hanging from the tree. It would have been easy, he thinks, just leave him there, let him have what he wants - why didn't he think of that at the time? He reconstructs the image, the dog-lead ligature, tight, his son's blue face, popping eye-balls, swollen discoloured tongue protruding from a clenched jaw, a gurgling from the throat, the smell of evacuated bowel hanging in the air like rotten fruit. And he doesn't understand.
"
.........
Rustic, are you wanting to continue this conversation? "
.........
What is written about a nephew attempting to hang himself from a tree, his father intervening and stopping his son from killing himself, news of the event as told to me by my mother is experience, it's real, and just a story.
And now the father thinks about the years he has heard his son speak of nothing else but ending his life, of a perpetual seeking of blackness; he thinks of the help he has sought for his son from doctors and psychiatrists, [this is the hardest case we have come across sir], medication, heavy-duty anti-psychotic chemical coshes and he thinks of his estranged wife, my sister, her anguish and guilt, his feelings of guilt, collective guilt - 'why is he like this? it must be something we did or didn't do.' He goes outward and rails against everybody else who he says doesn't care about his son, a world which doesn't care about anything and the anger washes over a horrible fear he can taste. He sinks further into reverie and thinks what he thinks is the unthinkable, that he could have left him hanging from the tree. It would have been easy, he thinks, just leave him there, let him have what he wants - why didn't he think of that at the time? He reconstructs the image, the dog-lead ligature, tight, his son's blue face, popping eye-balls, swollen discoloured tongue protruding from a clenched jaw, a gurgling from the throat, the smell of evacuated bowel hanging in the air like rotten fruit. And he doesn't understand.
"
......... "
.........
Rustic, are you wanting to continue this conversation? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82419
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.25.2008
09:46AM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
there is a breathing of sorts... is that what the first lines of this "topic" are? the out breath... you know what "other" experinces in the exhail? the watching of what you though was "yours" being disbursed out into others? Is that it? why I have nothing of my own?to watch the desires who? has... here is where it is easy for the tears as I'm not quiet used to it... this nondesire :) |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82420
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.25.2008
09:52AM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
im sorry... I do feel greedy... I do wish for those to desire to have desires fullfilled... am I the creation of desire? would that not be of sufferring as well then? as you might be well aware... I do not know what is happening.. all these cycles or breatheings... it is like desiring something and watching "other" get it... really Im getting used to it.. really I am |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82421
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.25.2008
10:00AM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
visiting.. arising... like to the very tip of the ocean wave.... not jointed together... in a tiny swirl and then the let go..................................swish.................back into the ocean
|
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82422
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.25.2008
10:06AM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "
Quote: "So who the hell is doing the talking, the typing, the climbing and the swinging, the saving and the dying, the crying and the despairing, the accusing and the loving, and to whom and who is going to answer for whom and how? This isn't a question for anyone - this is the eye of a muse before bedtime."
.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5xIqr-YKBc
"
......... "
.........
hahahha This guy feels familiar.. hahaha but in his "Iam poem"... noticed the grass brushing o his face... and the thought he would take the grass out of his bothering.. and he did.......... whos botherings was it then? do you know? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82424
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.25.2008
10:06AM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "
Quote: "So who the hell is doing the talking, the typing, the climbing and the swinging, the saving and the dying, the crying and the despairing, the accusing and the loving, and to whom and who is going to answer for whom and how? This isn't a question for anyone - this is the eye of a muse before bedtime."
.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5xIqr-YKBc
"
......... "
.........
hahahha This guy feels familiar.. hahaha but in his "Iam poem"... noticed the grass brushing o his face... and the thought he would take the grass out of his bothering.. and he did.......... whos botherings was it then? do you know? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82425
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.25.2008
10:06AM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "
Quote: "So who the hell is doing the talking, the typing, the climbing and the swinging, the saving and the dying, the crying and the despairing, the accusing and the loving, and to whom and who is going to answer for whom and how? This isn't a question for anyone - this is the eye of a muse before bedtime."
.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5xIqr-YKBc
"
......... "
.........
hahahha This guy feels familiar.. hahaha but in his "Iam poem"... noticed the grass brushing o his face... and the thought he would take the grass out of his bothering.. and he did.......... whos botherings was it then? do you know? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82426
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from ______
May.25.2008
11:40AM EDT
|
|
What conversation? There is no conversation here. If it's cliches you're looking for, then familiarity only breeds contempt. Or is that just how it seems? Who knows. Or is that who knows? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82428
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from ______
May.25.2008
12:21PM EDT
|
|
When this rustic isn't writing, the creating adopts many forms. That's all. Adieu! |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82430
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.25.2008
02:30PM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "What conversation? There is no conversation here. If it's cliches you're looking for, then familiarity only breeds contempt. Or is that just how it seems? Who knows. Or is that who knows? "
.........
then you will not mind if I do not respond to any of your posts here again, thank you |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82431
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from lehish
May.25.2008
03:55PM EDT
→Email lehish
|
|
Quote: "Quote: "
Quote: "So who the hell is doing the talking, the typing, the climbing and the swinging, the saving and the dying, the crying and the despairing, the accusing and the loving, and to whom and who is going to answer for whom and how? This isn't a question for anyone - this is the eye of a muse before bedtime."
.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5xIqr-YKBc
"
......... "
.........
hahahha This guy feels familiar.. hahaha but in his "Iam poem"... noticed the grass brushing o his face... and the thought he would take the grass out of his bothering.. and he did.......... whos botherings was it then? do you know?
"
......... "
.........
what "bothering" ?...was thought-seen as if "bothering" ? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82432
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from lehish
May.25.2008
03:58PM EDT
→Email lehish
|
|
Quote: "
Quote: "What conversation? There is no conversation here. If it's cliches you're looking for, then familiarity only breeds contempt. Or is that just how it seems? Who knows. Or is that who knows? "
.........
then you will not mind if I do not respond to any of your posts here again, thank you
"
......... "
.........
what "again" ? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82433
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from lehish
May.25.2008
04:04PM EDT
→Email lehish
|
|
Quote: "D:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "
.........
D:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82434
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.25.2008
04:12PM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "Quote: "Quote: "
Quote: "So who the hell is doing the talking, the typing, the climbing and the swinging, the saving and the dying, the crying and the despairing, the accusing and the loving, and to whom and who is going to answer for whom and how? This isn't a question for anyone - this is the eye of a muse before bedtime."
.........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5xIqr-YKBc
"
......... "
.........
hahahha This guy feels familiar.. hahaha but in his "Iam poem"... noticed the grass brushing o his face... and the thought he would take the grass out of his bothering.. and he did.......... whos botherings was it then? do you know?
"
......... "
.........
what "bothering" ?...was thought-seen as if "bothering" ?
"
......... "
.........
you're right, wasn't bothering |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82435
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.25.2008
04:13PM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "Quote: "
Quote: "What conversation? There is no conversation here. If it's cliches you're looking for, then familiarity only breeds contempt. Or is that just how it seems? Who knows. Or is that who knows? "
.........
then you will not mind if I do not respond to any of your posts here again, thank you
"
......... "
.........
what "again" ?
"
......... "
.........
like this |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82436
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from lehish
May.25.2008
05:34PM EDT
→Email lehish
|
|
HahahHahahaha |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82439
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from ______
May.25.2008
08:07PM EDT
|
|
Words are to the human consciousness what fragrance is to the flower. |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82442
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from lehish
May.25.2008
08:34PM EDT
→Email lehish
|
|
Quote: "Words are to the human consciousness what fragrance is to the flower."
.........
bllalbalablbbblblblblababb |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82445
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Woodsman
May.25.2008
08:54PM EDT
|
|
Cactus flower. |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82446
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Snibbler
May.25.2008
09:19PM EDT
|
|
Quote: "Quote: "Quote: "
Discovering someone hanging from a tree by the neck alive, thinking attempted suicide would be an assumption, potentially a lie, a wrong judgement, an example of being trapped in conditioned thought, prejudicial mental processes, when what is being witnessed could just as easliy be the result of a game gone wrong, an accident, or attempted murder.
"
.........
rarely do I know if what is written in this place is what experiencied or a story or...whatever?????? but when someone write of something that looks to hurt..I want to comfort... even though maybe not necessary... and the first words written erased..by what or who? for what caused the change? and it is said" even if just a story..." "
.........
What is written about a nephew attempting to hang himself from a tree, his father intervening and stopping his son from killing himself, news of the event as told to me by my mother is experience, it's real, and just a story.
And now the father thinks about the years he has heard his son speak of nothing else but ending his life, of a perpetual seeking of blackness; he thinks of the help he has sought for his son from doctors and psychiatrists, [this is the hardest case we have come across sir], medication, heavy-duty anti-psychotic chemical coshes and he thinks of his estranged wife, my sister, her anguish and guilt, his feelings of guilt, collective guilt - 'why is he like this? it must be something we did or didn't do.' He goes outward and rails against everybody else who he says doesn't care about his son, a world which doesn't care about anything and the anger washes over a horrible fear he can taste. He sinks further into reverie and thinks what he thinks is the unthinkable, that he could have left him hanging from the tree. It would have been easy, he thinks, just leave him there, let him have what he wants - why didn't he think of that at the time? He reconstructs the image, the dog-lead ligature, tight, his son's blue face, popping eye-balls, swollen discoloured tongue protruding from a clenched jaw, a gurgling from the throat, the smell of evacuated bowel hanging in the air like rotten fruit. And he doesn't understand. "
.........
We all die, no question. One of the people I`ve encountered during this life
hung himself after his friend showed him the the txt messages on his phone
from his girlfriend.
Another, my best friend told him to leave the party, he was not wanted
there by any of us at the party.
This other dude, did not know him that well, wanted to talk with me, or
someone, one week later he was gone.
A female friend of mine is extraordinary good at saying the worst that comes
to mind. Can even shock me, and probably the family of her late boyfriend
looking for answers.. (I think her her greatest fear today is
beeing seen as a responsible person acountable for her acts. )
|
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82449
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from ______
May.26.2008
09:11AM EDT
|
|
The natural never knows what it will do. The moment the question '..are you wanting to continue this conversation?' is asked, what was happening is blocked. |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82465
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from ______
May.26.2008
09:12AM EDT
|
|
This actually happened to me when I was staying in a coffee plantation: a mother started beating a child, a little child, you know. She was mad, hopping mad, and she hit the child so hard, the child almost turned blue. And somebody asked me "Why did you not interfere and stop her?" I was standing there -- I was so puzzled, you see. "Who should I take pity on, the mother or the child?" -- that was my answer -- "Who is responsible?" Both were in a ridiculous situation: the mother could not control her anger, and the child was so helpless and innocent. This went on -- it was moving from one to the other -- and then I found all those things (marks) on my back. So I was also part of that. (I am not saying this just to claim something.) That is possible because consciousness cannot be divided. Anything that is happening there is affecting you -- this is affection, you understand? There is no question of your sitting in judgement on anybody; the situation happens to be that, so you are affected by that. You are affected by everything that is happening there.
~U G |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82466
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.26.2008
11:04AM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "The natural never knows what it will do. The moment the question '..are you wanting to continue this conversation?' is asked, what was happening is blocked. "
.........
what was blocked? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82467
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.26.2008
11:08AM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
and so I showed him my back... the tattoo and he asked..what is it of and I said "a Bodhissattva"..anyone in particular? "anyone"...... blocked like a ti quan do move? you are a Bodhissattva... are we not all? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82468
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.26.2008
11:10AM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "You got apples? "
.........
slices from the same apple |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82469
|
|
| |
|
|
Reply from Lynnoh
May.26.2008
11:11AM EDT
→Email Lynnoh
|
|
Quote: "Cactus flower. "
.........
hahaha Goldie Hawn movie, first arising? |
|
|
|
→Quote & Reply
→Post Reply
82470
|
|
| |
| ←Back To Topic List |
|
↑Go to Top of Page |
CALLIGRAPHY SCROLL, SERENITY