because I cannot honestly say to myself "this is what I am" I have no way of telling myself "I am happy" or "I am unhappy".
Getting what I want yields no satisfaction. If I didnt get what I wanted I wasnt satisfied. If I didnt get exactly what I wanted I wasn't satisfied. Even if I got exactly what I wanted, I wasnt satisfied. I always wanted more. It's not like I got what I wanted and was satisfied such that I didn't want anything more.
Seeing the futilitity in this, instead of chasing after more things to get what I want (including enlightenment), I thought I'd better figure out what "I" was. After understanding what I am not, the idea of "getting what I want to make me happy" held no ground and ceased to arise. Also, after seeing that nothing "out there" appears anywhere but RIGHT HERE, similar ideas held no ground as well.
One might say that undercutting the whole process yields satisfaction. One might also say that undercutting the whole process undercuts satisfaction, desire, and happiness. I cannot say either.
What are you saying happiness is? Getting what you want? An emotion? What is suffering? Not getting what you want? An emotion? The body doesnt want continued states of emotion..why do you? Problems come in for you when you want what you dont have and dont want what you have. Why not want what you have and dont want what you dont have? You'll always get what you want.
You can't always get what you want and you cant sustain continued emotional states. You dont have a chance at continued "happiness".
Forget it. I don't have a model and I cannot say any model is correct.