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  One day, Chang-sha Ching-tsen (d. 868), one of the well-known Chinese Ch'an masters,
wandered in the mountain. When he was back just at the gate of the temple, the head monk asked him:
-Where have you been, Sir?
Chang-sha replied:
-I... continue...

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→→→→ vertical line TOPIC: DEPRESSED.
vertical line Posted on Jan.10.2009 @ 09:00AM EDT by realia

Hello everyone. I have never been here before, but maybe you can hear my tale anyway.:)

I have been depressed for some time now. I won't go through the whole story of course, but it has been an awful period where I have felt isolated and alone. I have a high capacity of thinking which I have unwillingly been using to drag myself deeper into the misery non-stop.

But some days ago I felt better, I suspect it has something to do with an event that happened (can tell you about it if you want to). I was happy and thought that maybe I can start thinking about other things than myself and my own unhappiness and ill-fated destiny, and see a brighter future (which means I started to feel ambitions and inspiration again).

So last night, I came home to my home town (I live elsewhere now) to see an old friend of mine to talk to him about all this. He is the only person I really can connect with I guess, when it comes to deep stuff (I mean really deep stuff). I don't have much contact with him now since I moved, but we decided to meet. So things start off ok. We discuss how our ideals affect us, and looked back on our pasts. We start talking about zen (I guess this is where you come in, he he) about which he has been reading alot and I notice a major difference in the way we tackle my problem, which he has also experienced: his solution is to let go of everything. This is something I instinctively resent. The notion of letting go of your ideals and your "self" is something that would mean I would have to give up my relationships as well, for example my wonderful girlfriend and my understanding parents. At least that is the only way I see it. I want to live among other people, not just inside myself or in some spiritual place. I want to use my thinking and my consciousness to help other people and live in relationships, not just become introverted and unfriendly.

What do I do? =P I'm sorry for ranting, but maybe it has some good effects on my depression which I desperately want to get out of. Especially as I was happy last night, before I met my friend!!

I want to discuss this. :D

Thanks for reading!!

/realia, 19-year-old, Sweden


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Reply from Woodsman
Jan.10.2009
12:20PM EDT 
Email Woodsman
vertical line Moods are interesting, even the dark ones... the depressions and fears. By stating they are interesting I am validating these experiences, first by acknowledging them in degree and quality, and secondly by placing a value on them  so as to become internally workable, they are the main reason we are here, any of us, because they contain a force for good, if we begin to see them as such. Feelings are like children, who need love and direction. And every moment is precious, if we choose wisdom over fear, because it is a choice. It's all about choice.

So, as an example, we all have some feeling states that are noticeable, that we can identify, just as we can identify people. And depending on where we are with the emotions, treating them kindly or unkindly determines the extent and quality of interrelationship. First we label, as "bad", or  "good", as if the label will have a power to change things, which it does not.  
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Reply from kelvintan
Jan.10.2009
01:56PM EDT 
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The notion of letting go of your ideals and your "self" is something that would mean I would have to give up my relationships as well, for example my wonderful girlfriend and my understanding parents.

Live functionally,

Love unconditionally

Letting go is unattached to

Relationships Everlasting? Attachment Leads Individual Atone

for one's selfish nature by loving with attachment

With Metta

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Reply from ______
Jan.10.2009
03:26PM EDT 
vertical line What do I do?  I don't know.  Thanks for sharing.  
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Reply from Woodsman
Jan.10.2009
03:41PM EDT 
Email Woodsman
vertical line We are all, each one of us, like snowflakes floating through the clean air on a snowy day.
In the sunlight, looking across a snow covered field, each flake can reflect the sun's rays,
not as a matter of choice, but reflected from each natural design to share it's origin of light.


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Reply from 9999999
Jan.10.2009
07:32PM EDT 
Email 9999999
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Reply from -----0
Jan.12.2009
11:42AM EDT 
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Realia,

going Zen does not imply that you have to give up your relationships with your girlfriend and your parents. However, some of your problems may be related to the expectations you presume they have towards you. Like, perhaps, you may feel obliged to study what your parents want you to. Such duties you better give up, be true to yourself and let others accept it, if they can.

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