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  When a monk was traveling on the road, he met an old woman, and asked:
-I would like to know which way that leads to Chao-chou, would you please give me the direction?
The old waman replied:
-Just go straight, don't make any... continue...

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→→→→ vertical line TOPIC: ANGER
vertical line Posted on Jul.09.2012 @ 10:45AM EDT by Dalai Lama
Like anyone else, I too have the potential for violence; I too have anger in me. However, I try to recall that anger is a destructive emotion. I remind myself that scientists now say that anger is bad for our health; it eats into our immune system. So, anger destroys our peace of mind and our physical health. We shouldn’t welcome it or think of it as natural or as a friend.

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Reply from apalelotus
Jul.09.2012
02:01PM EDT 
vertical line I believe correctly pin-pointed anger can be a very constructive emotion so long as you don't become consumed by it.
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Reply from shayne
Jul.09.2012
10:25PM EDT 
Email shayne
vertical line non attachment is the key.

just a emotion. not unlike sadness or happiness.

its ok to be angry. ok to be happy. ok to be sad.

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Reply from Avisitor
Jul.10.2012
12:03AM EDT 
Email Avisitor
vertical line Yes, let it go ... whether it is happiness or anger ... let it go
Whether up or down ... OM .. G
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Reply from starduster
Jul.10.2012
05:22AM EDT 
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Quote: "I believe correctly pin-pointed anger can be a very constructive emotion so long as you don't become consumed by it."
.........

Anger is a tool when used as a tool.

My ex used to come home drunk and unload on me.  So I would leave, go for a drive, and come back after she had passed out, snoring peacefully.

I would pretend to be angry while leaving, so as to clear a path to the door.  She would try to block my exit and I would say, *Get out of my way, Bitch !!"

Its the only time I ever called her that, or anything else for that matter, which is probably why she would get out of the way, since it was so uncharacteristic of me.

I heard, from her, that her next husbands nickname for her started with a C, and he used it all the time, even in front of kids.  She called me up once to apologize, from the same hotel where I used to go to get away from her, and to ask my advice on how to deal with an abusive alcoholic.  How ironic.

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Reply from starduster
Jul.10.2012
08:15AM EDT 
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I had a boss at work whose wife was like my ex.  One night I came to work at the Inn and they were in the back office where I do my work on the computer.  She was giving him a lot of crap, and finally he said, *You take care of this, Don.  Im going to bed.*  And he left.

So then after he was gone she started to get frisky.  She started rubbing my arm and was saying things like, *Youre cute, I like you....* 

Even if she was attractive, I wouldnt be dumb enough to mess around with the bosses wife.  So I asked, *Have you been saved ?*  And then no matter what she came up with, I countered with things like, *The flesh is weak, but Jesus gives us strength.  You need to accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour....* 

It only took about 5 minutes of holy roller stuff to disuade her, and then she took off down the hallway towards the kitchen to hit on a busboy.  I suppose I could have warned him, but the heat was off of me, and that was more important.  Then she sat down in the lobby and cried for awhile, and then she went to her room.

The boss came down to look for her later and wanted to know where she went.  He seemed perturbed when I said I didnt know.  But he checked on her and said she was snoring soundly in her room.  Good that she didnt fall in the Bay, I suppose.  She was later banned from the property, and when that didnt work the Resort took out a restraining order.

Over at Corporate HQ, they wanted to know why I hadnt made out an incident report.  I said, *There was no incident.  They had an argument, she cried, and then she went to bed.  If getting drunk and calling your husband an ass hole constitutes an incident, you would have to write up every woman in the country.*

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Reply from Avisitor
Jul.10.2012
01:56PM EDT 
Email Avisitor
vertical line There is nothing i those stories that I can relate to.
I don't use anger as a tool. When I get angry, I try to let it go as soon as possible so that I stay here .. in control.
And, I've never had any woman throw themselves at me. Guess I'm not that kind of person who attracts such things in their lives.
However, I do find those accounts fascinating and I don't know why.
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Reply from simple
Jul.10.2012
04:44PM EDT 
Email simple
vertical line Can Anger be psychological?
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Reply from starduster
Jul.11.2012
05:07AM EDT 
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Quote: "There is nothing i those stories that I can relate to.
I don't use anger as a tool. When I get angry, I try to let it go as soon as possible so that I stay here .. in control.
And, I've never had any woman throw themselves at me. Guess I'm not that kind of person who attracts such things in their lives.
However, I do find those accounts fascinating and I don't know why.
"
.........

Thanks, its okay.  I take what I can from the writings here and leave the rest for someone else.  Its just good that people who have things in common, to some degree, spiritually, can meet here and share a thought or a laugh.

Im not here to learn or teach, because there is nothing to learn or teach.  Those are barricades on a path, not milestones.

I am rarely angry, for very long anyway, a matter of seconds, so I have had to learn to fake it for those occasions when it is called for.

Very luck tonight on the way to work to be delayed by road work.  I was running late and that gave me a good excuse.  Gotta look on the positive side of things.

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Reply from simple
Jul.11.2012
06:55AM EDT 
Email simple
vertical line + -
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Reply from zbishak
Jul.11.2012
07:02AM EDT 
Email zbishak
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anger is no more than a half baked ego unable to cope with not getting its own way

whether its right or wrong.

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Reply from simple
Jul.11.2012
07:09AM EDT 
Email simple
vertical line www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Pes54J8PVw
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Reply from zbishak
Jul.11.2012
07:52AM EDT 
Email zbishak
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one has some food and some place to sleep

there is no cause for anger

one dosnt have those things

there still is no cause for anger

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Reply from starduster
Jul.14.2012
07:02PM EDT 
vertical line Quote: "

one has some food and some place to sleep

there is no cause for anger

one dosnt have those things

there still is no cause for anger

"
.........

"
.........

Sometimes I ask the Spirit, *Why* this or that.

Over time it comes clear, in the natural progression of things, that without the negative that I questioned some greater positive could not have been.

So I try to remember to just bear it, whatever it is, and to just carry on.  I do wish I was better at it though.

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Reply from leoj99
Jul.14.2012
07:27PM EDT 
vertical line If you don't work with your Ego you will always be angry.
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Reply from so_teh
Jul.14.2012
07:47PM EDT 
Email so_teh
vertical line Through,
The naked eye,
The bare heart,
The empty vessel,
Feel.
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Reply from so_teh
Jul.14.2012
07:48PM EDT 
Email so_teh
vertical line Or Touch.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Jul.15.2012
05:50AM EDT 
vertical line Currently transmitting direct - the full high voltage marked XXXX.
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Reply from starduster
Jul.15.2012
06:45AM EDT 
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Quote: "If you don't work with your Ego you will always be angry. "
.........

Egoism:  one who knows his or her ego and works with it.

Egotism:  one who is controlled by his or her ego.

I suppose I will always be prone to be angered, thats natural.

To be angered is natural, but to be angry is a choice..

For most it is a choice of how long to stay angry after having been angered

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Reply from Joe Chip
Jul.15.2012
06:51AM EDT 
vertical line Anger is a sign of the struggle with doubt - there is no escape from Love.
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Reply from starduster
Jul.15.2012
09:10AM EDT 
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Quote: "Anger is a sign of the struggle with doubt - there is no escape from Love."
.........

I would have thought that depression was a struggle with doubt,

but then I have heard it said that depression is anger turned inward.

I would agree there is no escape from Love,

but then why would anyone want to?

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Reply from Joe Chip
Jul.16.2012
05:26AM EDT 
vertical line Love invites you to a game of poker on the beach.
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Reply from starduster
Jul.16.2012
07:57AM EDT 
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Quote: "Love invites you to a game of poker on the beach."
.........

Thats one of an unlimited number of options,

in the holodeck-like environment of my own plane of existence.

The only limitation there is that the Spirit and I have agreed to agree there.

There will be nothing there, ever, unless we both agree to it.

Its our own private world, not needing to affect any others.

You can have your own, its okay with me.

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Reply from Joe Chip
Jul.16.2012
08:42AM EDT 
vertical line Love is the wild card.
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Reply from Woodsman
Jul.16.2012
02:47PM EDT 
Email Woodsman
vertical line beneath anger are tears of the original Self

there is no reason to it, tears fall out of our once angry eyes washing away the dirt of anger which has denied the truth of one's being, connected to everything living and dead, all past present and future Self
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Reply from Woodsman
Jul.16.2012
02:55PM EDT 
Email Woodsman
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Reply from Joe Chip
Jul.16.2012
05:13PM EDT 
vertical line In the desert, tears are the gift, and joy is their fruit.
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Reply from Woodsman
Jul.16.2012
06:13PM EDT 
Email Woodsman
vertical line Anger seems to flow on almost constantly in me, and it's like I can say nothing without having some bit of anger in it. What!?

Um, I'll shut up, or just be quiet, and listen, and let the anger go, time, and time again, and again, again and again, against....
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Reply from Joe Chip
Jul.16.2012
06:22PM EDT 
vertical line A flowing into the good. Right?
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Reply from so_teh
Jul.16.2012
07:17PM EDT 
Email so_teh
vertical line My low capacity in learning, work, and love has nothing to be angry about. Life goes ________________________________________________
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Reply from so_teh
Jul.16.2012
07:20PM EDT 
Email so_teh
vertical line "Sea Shell Capacity" with an ocean view.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Jul.16.2012
07:36PM EDT 
vertical line My wife's mother died a few weeks ago, after suffering from dementia for about three years. At the end of her life she knew no one and had become physically unrecognisable. Some people are angry, trying to hurt each other over her death. I feel sick when I see what their anger is doing to the family.
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Reply from so_teh
Jul.16.2012
07:42PM EDT 
Email so_teh
vertical line hmm.
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Reply from Woodsman
Jul.16.2012
07:45PM EDT 
Email Woodsman
vertical line I know, and it's the subtle anger that I pay attention to, in how I say things, as much as what I say. Or I can feel the way I am looking at someone, or thing. I think anger and word use have a lot in common, and I want to drop all my anger! Only, anger isn't mine, or me, it's a lie that resides within my performance and perception that was created by fear, is created.
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Reply from Avisitor
Jul.16.2012
10:27PM EDT 
Email Avisitor
vertical line Quote: "My wife's mother died a few weeks ago, after suffering from dementia for about three years. At the end of her life she knew no one and had become physically unrecognisable. Some people are angry, trying to hurt each other over her death. I feel sick when I see what their anger is doing to the family. "
.........
The thing about that type of anger is that it is much like a coping mechanism.'
Instead of going crazy forever, the mind lets one get crazy for a little while
Then when the dust settles, things can return to normal??
Sorry it doesn't help to know people get crazy to stay sane.
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Reply from frozenaomi
Jul.17.2012
01:29PM EDT 
Email frozenaomi
vertical line

I suppose I will always be prone to be angered, thats natural.

To be angered is natural, but to be angry is a choice..

For most it is a choice of how long to stay angry after having been angered



Yeah, I really like this.  It's natural to have emotions.  My base one is melancholy but just because I feel melancholy does not mean that I am down.  Indeed, the fact that I recognize the emotion means that I can direct it towards something positive.  I don't always (often) succeed at this, but I am pretty sure that is the game.  It is okay to feel angry, its just a matter of redirecting that anger into a productive (non combative) channel. 

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Reply from frozenaomi
Jul.17.2012
01:34PM EDT 
Email frozenaomi
vertical line Quote: "My wife's mother died a few weeks ago, after suffering from dementia for about three years. At the end of her life she knew no one and had become physically unrecognisable. Some people are angry, trying to hurt each other over her death. I feel sick when I see what their anger is doing to the family. "
.........

Avisitor is right.  It can feel really good to lash out at someone, anyone.  Pain builds with its own pressure, growing vast, enormous, explosive.  I think who ever called it "venting" really got it perfect, lashing out is the venting of this pain.  But that venting is caustic and costs far to much.  There are other pathways.  I hope your family finds theirs before the damage is too great. 
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Reply from Joe Chip
Jul.17.2012
01:35PM EDT 
vertical line Dalai, I know you have reasons to be angry, to explode with rage. Grrreat! Let's be angry together.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Jul.17.2012
01:39PM EDT 
vertical line Quote: "Quote: "My wife's mother died a few weeks ago, after suffering from dementia for about three years. At the end of her life she knew no one and had become physically unrecognisable. Some people are angry, trying to hurt each other over her death. I feel sick when I see what their anger is doing to the family. "
.........

Avisitor is right.  It can feel really good to lash out at someone, anyone.  Pain builds with its own pressure, growing vast, enormous, explosive.  I think who ever called it "venting" really got it perfect, lashing out is the venting of this pain.  But that venting is caustic and costs far to much.  There are other pathways.  I hope your family finds theirs before the damage is too great. 
"
.........

What are you talking about?
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Reply from starduster
Jul.18.2012
05:29AM EDT 
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Quote: "My wife's mother died a few weeks ago, after suffering from dementia for about three years. At the end of her life she knew no one and had become physically unrecognisable. Some people are angry, trying to hurt each other over her death. I feel sick when I see what their anger is doing to the family. "
.........

I am sorry for the loss your family has suffered.

When I was a little boy, my grandmother was the only one who loved me.  I could feel it.

What I hadnt really noticed was that I was the only one who loved her too.  I should have seen that, but it wasnt until after she died that people began saying things about her that they had only dared to think to themselves beforehand.

I was shocked.  I knew she was the family matriarch, and ruled like an iron fist in a velvet glove, but I thought people accepted that.  She was very kind hearted, and only meant the best for everyone.

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