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TOPIC: WHEN YOUNG |
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Posted on Aug.04.2012 @ 07:08AM EDT by shayne
when i was younger i was having a " nervous breakdown " i quess when me and my ex wife were breaking up. not sure what else to call it. i was in work and my entire body lit up with energy and every hair on my body stood out poker straight.
im not quite sure what this is. but i just had two dreams in a row where IF i had a encounter with a ghost or entity my whole body lit up again.
now lately i was suffering from my body with what i thought was fibermyalga. it felt like like my energy/spirit/nerves was overpowering my senses. especailly my attention/mind.
well i gave up and relaxed. stop being so focused. actually almost nil with it.
this energy went from negative to positive. almost. i still itch sometimes and it hurts. and i still get patches on my body where its i quess energy.
i went to the doctors. they wouldnt listen.
someones gotta have a clue as to whats going on here.
im almost at total rest. total peace. my nerves are not bad any more really.
ok someone please please point me in the right direction.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.04.2012
07:24AM EDT
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All points north-south young man. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.04.2012
07:48AM EDT
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sigh. that helped. seems you have more problems then me.
shesh. |
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.04.2012
07:55AM EDT
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You're welcome. No problem. To solve. Reality. To experience. |
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.04.2012
11:25AM EDT
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Stop thinking.... juuussssttt... eat watermelon...S" |
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Reply from Avisitor
Aug.04.2012
03:23PM EDT
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I'm sorry I have no wisdom in this area.
Forgive me my novice interpretation
This sounds like a medical event with a touch of the spiritual.
When we have pain, we suffer and are very uncomfortable.
Through, our minds are the awareness of this pain.
As attachment to the body is let go ... we don't suffer as before.
We still feel the pain. But, the attachment to the body is lessened.
Um, finally, being lit up .. I would assume is he body's way of saying you have energy blocks which may need freeing up.
Okay, I know this is probably wrong and won't help you a bit.
Guess I should have left it with only the first sentence. |
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Reply from BlankName
Aug.04.2012
04:40PM EDT
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Stop justifying conditioning altogether. It is what it is. Seek healing if necessary. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.04.2012
08:15PM EDT
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Quote: "I'm sorry I have no wisdom in this area.
Forgive me my novice interpretation
This sounds like a medical event with a touch of the spiritual.
When we have pain, we suffer and are very uncomfortable.
Through, our minds are the awareness of this pain.
As attachment to the body is let go ... we don't suffer as before.
We still feel the pain. But, the attachment to the body is lessened.
Um, finally, being lit up .. I would assume is he body's way of saying you have energy blocks which may need freeing up.
Okay, I know this is probably wrong and won't help you a bit.
Guess I should have left it with only the first sentence."
.........
well i tried to face it. ive tried t let it go. actually i found the less i focus the better it is.
it almost totally overwhelms my senses. to the point i dont know what im concentrating on.
so i let it overwhelm me and became one with it and i sometimes dont hurt at all.
i think i overfocus. too strong of a mind.
so too intense.
20 years of meditation.
so now im doing the opposite.
id assume i have energy blocks too. kinda. but a blockage means some area DONT have energy.
my whole body lit up when younger. and the dreams suggest it could again.
if youve read my other threads i been healing.
very strange occurances lately.
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.04.2012
08:16PM EDT
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I know it is so difficult to stop thinking. But you can start practicing zazen regularly and seriously. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.04.2012
08:18PM EDT
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leo. ive focused on my incoming breaths in a out for 8 hours WHILE working. without thinking. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.04.2012
08:19PM EDT
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Quote: "Stop justifying conditioning altogether. It is what it is. Seek healing if necessary. "
.........
im not.
i am healing.
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.04.2012
08:40PM EDT
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Quote: "leo. ive focused on my incoming breaths in a out for 8 hours WHILE working. without thinking."
.........
Thats a good start. Maybe you can sit with a group or you may sit zazen alone and start breath counting.
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Reply from shayne
Aug.04.2012
08:46PM EDT
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Quote: "Quote: "leo. ive focused on my incoming breaths in a out for 8 hours WHILE working. without thinking."
.........
Thats a good start. Maybe you can sit with a group or you may sit zazen alone and start breath counting.
"
.........
condescending.
good start?
i can do such ( counts breaths ) while working.
shesh. |
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.04.2012
08:52PM EDT
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Since you are good at it.... how come you are complaining about your problem...lol |
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.04.2012
08:53PM EDT
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Your problems....lol |
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Reply from Avisitor
Aug.04.2012
08:56PM EDT
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Quote: "Quote: "I'm sorry I have no wisdom in this area.
.........
well i tried to face it. ive tried t let it go. actually i found the less i focus the better it is.
it almost totally overwhelms my senses. to the point i dont know what im concentrating on.
so i let it overwhelm me and became one with it and i sometimes dont hurt at all.
i think i overfocus. too strong of a mind.
so too intense.
20 years of meditation.
so now im doing the opposite.
id assume i have energy blocks too. kinda. but a blockage means some area DONT have energy.
my whole body lit up when younger. and the dreams suggest it could again.
if youve read my other threads i been healing.
very strange occurances lately.
"
.........
Could it be that your body is preparing for something??
The lighting up could be spiritual??
Just suggesting ... something bigger
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.04.2012
09:57PM EDT
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I think not.. it is nothing but too much stress. Lower down your stress and you notice the difference. Thinking is the cause of stress. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.04.2012
10:11PM EDT
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well i think my body is.
and mind.
seems the energy has changed yet again.
i feel......throughout my body a light emptiness.
for now.
just alot of waxing and waning.
from hell to heaven and back again. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.04.2012
10:15PM EDT
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Quote: "Since you are good at it.... how come you are complaining about your problem...lol
"
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huh?
im soon gonna put you on ignore. i think your counterproductive.
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Reply from shayne
Aug.04.2012
10:19PM EDT
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i dont need further focus.
period.
if anything quite the opposite.
like a violin strung too tight the cord could break.
im not stressed but the body cant handle the intensity of my mind.
i think its basically what it comes down too.
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Reply from BlankName
Aug.04.2012
10:27PM EDT
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Let God take it from here |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.04.2012
10:35PM EDT
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yeah not sure.
could be god punishing me even.
though i doubt this.
i am a good man.
period.
no doubts in my mind.
heck i even contemplated voodoo being done on me.
haha. |
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.04.2012
10:37PM EDT
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Quote: "i dont need further focus.
period.
if anything quite the opposite.
like a violin strung too tight the cord could break.
im not stressed but the body cant handle the intensity of my mind.
i think its basically what it comes down too.
"
.........
Your body can't handle you mind...lol...so what do you call that?
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Reply from BlankName
Aug.04.2012
10:42PM EDT
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Not a chance with 20 years of meditation under your belt. Spirits, voodoo and the like do not stand a chance. Let God take it from here. Honestly. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.04.2012
10:43PM EDT
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well i would call it stress but i dont worry about much of anything.
intensity yes.
a deep deep yearning for the truth.
yes.
so almost the same but not quite. |
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Reply from BlankName
Aug.04.2012
10:44PM EDT
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Contemplate Him who contemplates your being. Let it be.
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.04.2012
10:52PM EDT
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Quote: "well i would call it stress but i dont worry about much of anything.
intensity yes.
a deep deep yearning for the truth.
yes.
so almost the same but not quite."
.........
So you are looking for the truth in your mind.
The truth is never in your mind.
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Reply from BlankName
Aug.04.2012
11:09PM EDT
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I can relate also about this "intensity." Anxiety is intensity underlying in me, too. I cannot justify it though, I have tried. Imperfect existence is a blessing. Finding your perfect limit is having no limits. Know your limit and trust your Source.
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Reply from Avisitor
Aug.04.2012
11:16PM EDT
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Quote: "yeah not sure.
could be god punishing me even.
though i doubt this.
i am a good man.
period.
no doubts in my mind.
heck i even contemplated voodoo being done on me.
haha."
.........
How did the masters know when it was their time to go??
Sorry, just thinking about the possibilities.
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Reply from BlankName
Aug.04.2012
11:20PM EDT
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Quote: "Quote: "yeah not sure.
could be god punishing me even.
though i doubt this.
i am a good man.
period.
no doubts in my mind.
heck i even contemplated voodoo being done on me.
haha."
.........
How did the masters know when it was their time to go??
Sorry, just thinking about the possibilities.
"
.........
Go comfortably in the direction of your death. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.04.2012
11:53PM EDT
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Quote: "Not a chance with 20 years of meditation under your belt. Spirits, voodoo and the like do not stand a chance. Let God take it from here. Honestly. "
.........
yeah i realize this. haha.
agreed. |
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Reply from Avisitor
Aug.05.2012
01:34AM EDT
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Quote: "How did the masters know when it was their time to go??
Sorry, just thinking about the possibilities.
"
.........
Go comfortably in the direction of your death."
.........
If this is so then it saddens me. I don't know why.
I don't know you. Heck, I don't know myself.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
08:27AM EDT
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God created zenguide to train the faithful. |
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Reply from frozenaomi
Aug.05.2012
08:57AM EDT
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**hugs**
I haven't the slightest bit of advice.
But if there is anything my support can offer it is yours. |
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Reply from starduster
Aug.05.2012
09:03AM EDT
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Quote: "leo. ive focused on my incoming breaths in a out for 8 hours WHILE working. without thinking."
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You owe your boss a refund.
Not really. You probably were more focused in your work than ever. |
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
09:32AM EDT
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Run |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
09:42AM EDT
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i suffer.
im not a nervous person.
today i had shooting pains in my feet at times.
horrible itching.
but at the same token. almost a breakthrough.
did have one for a bit.
fleeting though.
i wax and wane between heaven and hell.
shesh
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
09:45AM EDT
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Quote: "**hugs**
I haven't the slightest bit of advice.
But if there is anything my support can offer it is yours."
.........
haha your a sweety.
life is ......special.
im not saying good or bad....just really really special.
haha. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
09:57AM EDT
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im gonna change the world.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
09:59AM EDT
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Bloop? |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
10:02AM EDT
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i told god.....id fight satan. haha. awhile back.
that basterd dont stand a chance against me. he may affect me phsycially......but he cant beat me.
nothing can break this spirit.
not sure if this is it....but even my youngest one noticed errie sounds in the air while fishing.....
we live in very troubled times my friends.....but i will see an end to it......and a new begining. |
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
10:10AM EDT
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I came, I saw, I stuck around. |
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Reply from nibble
Aug.05.2012
10:19AM EDT
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Everything changes constantly with or without you.. Just accept and let it be. Zazzen, as I see it, is acceptance and "non clinging/obsession".
In theory you should be able to feel anxiety and all kinda sht without any problem at all as is passes trough the big empty sky of you? |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
10:21AM EDT
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Quote: "Everything changes constantly with or without you.. Just accept and let it be. Zazzen, as I see it, is acceptance and "non clinging/obsession".
In theory you should be able to feel anxiety and all kinda sht without any problem at all as is passes trough the big empty sky of you?
"
.........
yeah....haha sounds good.
im a trying.
haha. |
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
10:25AM EDT
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You're trying to save your ego. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
10:28AM EDT
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omg that is funny crap.
not at all.
ego is a reflection on yourself that is not real.
for example....im a tough guy who can beat up anyone.
no...haha. |
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
10:30AM EDT
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Sounds like your grapes are sour. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
10:35AM EDT
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ok...so whats ego to you?
sigh.
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
10:39AM EDT
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i hurt......bad.
ego?
haha.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
10:44AM EDT
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Ego is like a control-agent that seems to reside in what you call your mind - it creates, and then engages with the artificial paradox of destroying that which it says doesn't exist. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
11:02AM EDT
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umm no
the mind is the mind.
ego is ego.
you forget how simple a man i am.
you sure do like to argue this point.
haha.
almost.....not quite.
intellgence is SOO overrated.
haha. |
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
11:10AM EDT
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You asked the question; you answered your own question. I am not arguing any point. And you are still confusing intellect with intelligence. What ego creates is a fabrication of the real. True creativity is a constant participation in the source of creativity's creative process - poetically, the ego disappears with the realisation that I am the flute played on the lips of the divine. |
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Reply from Avisitor
Aug.05.2012
11:15AM EDT
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There was an episode of Grey's Anatomy where this guy was in a lot of pain but couldn't take pain medication. So, to combat the pain, he would keep his mind focused on watching pornography. It is strange how the body works .. much less the mind |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
11:16AM EDT
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now he realized he posted in the wrong forum thread and made the correction.
hahahah.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
11:20AM EDT
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Diversionista. |
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.05.2012
11:23AM EDT
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Quote: "i told god.....id fight satan. haha. awhile back.
that basterd dont stand a chance against me. he may affect me phsycially......but he cant beat me.
nothing can break this spirit.
not sure if this is it....but even my youngest one noticed errie sounds in the air while fishing.....
we live in very troubled times my friends.....but i will see an end to it......and a new begining. "
.........
Who is satan. lol
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
11:24AM EDT
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ok im going to sleep. call it what you will.
i dont care oh thinks your so smart.
satan equals high intelligence.
god equals ever lasting SUPREME wisdom.
hahhaahahhaha.
hahahhaahahah.
hahhahahhahaha.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
11:25AM EDT
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Adios. Get well soon. |
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
11:26AM EDT
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Quote: "Quote: "i told god.....id fight satan. haha. awhile back.
that basterd dont stand a chance against me. he may affect me phsycially......but he cant beat me.
nothing can break this spirit.
not sure if this is it....but even my youngest one noticed errie sounds in the air while fishing.....
we live in very troubled times my friends.....but i will see an end to it......and a new begining. "
.........
Who is satan. lol
"
.........
must be friends with joe chip.
haha. |
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.05.2012
11:26AM EDT
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Quote: "Everything changes constantly with or without you.. Just accept and let it be. Zazzen, as I see it, is acceptance and "non clinging/obsession".
In theory you should be able to feel anxiety and all kinda sht without any problem at all as is passes trough the big empty sky of you?
"
.........
I think Zazen is not acceptance or letting go. It is only breath counting or breath awareness facing the wall.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
11:37AM EDT
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I think Satan is in need of your compassion, whoever he is. |
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Reply from Avisitor
Aug.05.2012
01:54PM EDT
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Quote: "I think Zazen is not acceptance or letting go. It is only breath counting or breath awareness facing the wall.
"
.........
That is the illusion talking about Zazen.
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Reply from shayne
Aug.05.2012
03:17PM EDT
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Quote: "I think Satan is in need of your compassion, whoever he is."
.........
hmmm.
what are you hinting at?
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.05.2012
05:47PM EDT
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Quote: "Quote: "I think Satan is in need of your compassion, whoever he is."
.........
hmmm.
what are you hinting at?
"
.........
I heard that Satan is an smart shady and fictitious character. He even out smart God so many times.
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Reply from Avisitor
Aug.05.2012
06:32PM EDT
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If you are the creator of your own illusions then you are the creator of your own world.
This makes you the father of Satan who has cast him out of your house.
You made the devil what he is today.
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.05.2012
06:36PM EDT
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Quote: "If you are the creator of your own illusions then you are the creator of your own world.
This makes you the father of Satan who has cast him out of your house.
You made the devil what he is today.
"
........
What illusions are you talking about.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.05.2012
09:11PM EDT
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Satan, God's Vicar-General. |
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Reply from leoj99
Aug.05.2012
10:45PM EDT
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Quote: "Satan, God's Vicar-General."
.........
Yep Satan is there wherever God is...LOL
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Reply from starduster
Aug.06.2012
04:47AM EDT
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Quote: "Quote: "Since you are good at it.... how come you are complaining about your problem...lol
"
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huh?
im soon gonna put you on ignore. i think your counterproductive.
"
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Ive been known to yank Shaynes chain once in a while,
but he has demonstrated enough of what Chontri posted as *Yogic Powers*,
essentially ESP which commonly develops from meditating,
to prove that he meditates well for a long time. |
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.06.2012
06:40AM EDT
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When God and Satan cross the boundaries that define them - APOCALYPSE NOW. |
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.06.2012
09:39AM EDT
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The Apocalypse reveals the veiled and is the placeless place where the veiled is revealed.
[Moses had a Martyr's degree in passive-aggression. And in the post-mortem dispute, Satan demanded his mortgaged corpse.]
Apocalypse Now - full-on gnosis.
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Reply from shayne
Aug.06.2012
10:12AM EDT
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Quote: "Ego is like a control-agent that seems to reside in what you call your mind - it creates, and then engages with the artificial paradox of destroying that which it says doesn't exist."
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this is very deluded.
what i call a mind?
the mind is the attention.
period.
no ifs ands or buts.
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Reply from shayne
Aug.06.2012
10:17AM EDT
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Quote: "The Apocalypse reveals the veiled and is the placeless place where the veiled is revealed.
[Moses had a Martyr's degree in passive-aggression. And in the post-mortem dispute, Satan demanded his mortgaged corpse.]
Apocalypse Now - full-on gnosis.
"
.........
deluded. again.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.06.2012
10:26AM EDT
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All ifs, ands, butts and hard-baked s h i t.
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Reply from Joe Chip
Aug.07.2012
06:58AM EDT
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Quoth
i went to the doctors. they wouldnt listen.
someones gotta have a clue as to whats going on here.
im almost at total rest. total peace. my nerves are not bad any more really.
ok someone please please point me in the right direction.
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sigh. that helped. seems you have more problems then me.
shesh.
well i tried to face it. ive tried t let it go. actually i found the less i focus the better it is.
it almost totally overwhelms my senses. to the point i dont know what im concentrating on.
so i let it overwhelm me and became one with it and i sometimes dont hurt at all.
i think i overfocus. too strong of a mind.
so too intense.
20 years of meditation.
so now im doing the opposite.
id assume i have energy blocks too. kinda. but a blockage means some area DONT have energy.
my whole body lit up when younger. and the dreams suggest it could again.
if youve read my other threads i been healing.
very strange occurances lately.
leo. ive focused on my incoming breaths in a out for 8 hours WHILE working. without thinking.
im not.
i am healing.
condescending.
good start?
i can do such ( counts breaths ) while working.
shesh.
well i think my body is.
and mind.
seems the energy has changed yet again.
i feel......throughout my body a light emptiness.
for now.
just alot of waxing and waning.
from hell to heaven and back again.
huh?
im soon gonna put you on ignore. i think your counterproductive.
i dont need further focus.
period.
if anything quite the opposite.
like a violin strung too tight the cord could break.
im not stressed but the body cant handle the intensity of my mind.
i think its basically what it comes down too.
yeah not sure.
could be god punishing me even.
though i doubt this.
i am a good man.
period.
no doubts in my mind.
heck i even contemplated voodoo being done on me.
haha.
well i would call it stress but i dont worry about much of anything.
intensity yes.
a deep deep yearning for the truth.
yes.
so almost the same but not quite.
yeah i realize this. haha.
agreed.
i suffer.
im not a nervous person.
today i had shooting pains in my feet at times.
horrible itching.
but at the same token. almost a breakthrough.
did have one for a bit.
fleeting though.
i wax and wane between heaven and hell.
shesh
haha your a sweety.
life is ......special.
im not saying good or bad....just really really special.
haha.
im gonna change the world.
i told god.....id fight satan. haha. awhile back.
that basterd dont stand a chance against me. he may affect me phsycially......but he cant beat me.
nothing can break this spirit.
not sure if this is it....but even my youngest one noticed errie sounds in the air while fishing.....
we live in very troubled times my friends.....but i will see an end to it......and a new begining.
yeah....haha sounds good.
im a trying.
haha.
omg that is funny crap.
not at all.
ego is a reflection on yourself that is not real.
for example....im a tough guy who can beat up anyone.
no...haha.
ok...so whats ego to you?
sigh.
i hurt......bad.
ego?
haha.
umm no
the mind is the mind.
ego is ego.
you forget how simple a man i am.
you sure do like to argue this point.
haha.
almost.....not quite.
intellgence is SOO overrated.
haha.
now he realized he posted in the wrong forum thread and made the correction.
hahahah.
ok im going to sleep. call it what you will.
i dont care oh thinks your so smart.
satan equals high intelligence.
god equals ever lasting SUPREME wisdom.
hahhaahahhaha.
hahahhaahahah.
hahhahahhahaha.
must be friends with joe chip.
haha.
hmmm.
what are you hinting at?
this is very deluded.
what i call a mind?
the mind is the attention.
period.
no ifs ands or buts.
deluded. again.
.................
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Reply from shayne
Aug.07.2012
10:27AM EDT
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ah joe chip. good point. duh. haha.
anyway.....i do know this.
i got a strong mind and a good imagination.
today....was startled by something in my sleep. woke up and my whole body lit up. damn ass weird. i fiqured it would overcome my mind. didnt. just my whole body buzzed. kinda like having a orgaism from sex but lots and lots of energy.
then on my way to work....my left shoulder cramped up something fierce. then i pulled in it just stopped. simple as that. bull malarky....didnt even hurt afterward. but it hurt like heck when it happened.
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