Zen Buddhism Discussion Forum - Topic: Of Life And Death

Tuesday May 21 2013 07:33PM ET

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One day, Chang-sha Ching-tsen (d. 868), one of the well-known Chinese Ch'an masters,
wandered in the mountain. When he was back just at the gate of the temple, the head monk asked him:
-Where have you been, Sir?
Chang-sha replied:
-I... continue...

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→→→→		TOPIC: OF LIFE AND DEATH
		Posted on Nov.19.2012 @ 11:25AM EDT by QuantumZen Brother of my best friend commited a suicide this summer. It shocked all of us, but I tried to help my friend as much as I could. I was telling him that we shouldn't fear death, as there is no death or life. These are just social envelopes, names. There is no you, me or other so there is no one to die in the first place. It helped him, it helped me as well. I believe in the words I said, I sense them as truth. I don't fear death (or life for that matter) and yet, every night before going to sleep I watch funeral of his brother happen again in my mind. I remember how it was for us all. I am neither saddened by it, nor scared. It just reapears in my mind. What shall I do? I think this is how attachment to one's mind work. Mind shows you pictures of past or future and you suffer. I don't, as I understand the cause, and yet I wonder how to stop it? Do I need to in the first place? Maybe just let everything flow?
↓Go to Latest Reply		→Reply to this Topic →Email QuantumZen



Reply from Joe Chip Nov.19.2012 11:37AM EDT		Perhaps you need to acknowledge your grief.
		→Quote & Reply →Post Reply 147317



Reply from QuantumZen Nov.19.2012 01:27PM EDT →Email QuantumZen		I thought about it. I don't feel it, I don't get memories during day, only when I go to sleep. Just for a minute. Maybe it shocked mu subcontious more than I know.
		→Quote & Reply →Post Reply 147318



Reply from Avisitor Nov.19.2012 03:56PM EDT →Email Avisitor		I'm sorry for your loss. Friends or relative of friends can impact us in ways we don't understand. However, it is the emotional component that gives memories the power to haunt us or to taunt us. Remove the emotional component by coming to an understanding or releasing it through therapy .... or how ever you want to ... Do you need to remove it?? It is part of what makes us ... us. There is no need to remove your memories. Just reach an understanding of the past and live in the present. Move on. Yeah, words easier said than done. I know. My advice is that these memories will lessen in intensity if we let it go. Time wounds all heals ... or vicesa versa
		→Quote & Reply →Post Reply 147319



Reply from justin Nov.21.2012 09:33AM EDT →Email justin		i feel for you and the family, What is it that upsets you, is it the death or the reminder of mortality (to u) or the missing of a friend (which is our personal loss because 'my' friend is gone and i can not see him any more). Everyone handles death differently in a intensely personal way, you will be ok. A friend of mine whilst giving me advice over my own brothers untimely death (if there is such a concept) said 'the loss is never filled you just kinda learn how to deal with it better over time'
		→Quote & Reply →Post Reply 147469


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