One day Yao-shan Wei-yen (750-834), one of the well-known Chinese Ch'an master, was asked by the host of the monastery to give his sermon to the assembly who for a long while was expecting his teaching. Yao-shan said: "Strike the bell."
Posted on Nov.19.2012 @ 11:25AM EDTbyQuantumZen
Brother of my best friend commited a suicide this summer. It shocked all of us, but I tried to help my friend as much as I could. I was telling him that we shouldn't fear death, as there is no death or life. These are just social envelopes, names. There is no you, me or other so there is no one to die in the first place. It helped him, it helped me as well. I believe in the words I said, I sense them as truth. I don't fear death (or life for that matter) and yet, every night before going to sleep I watch funeral of his brother happen again in my mind. I remember how it was for us all. I am neither saddened by it, nor scared. It just reapears in my mind. What shall I do? I think this is how attachment to one's mind work. Mind shows you pictures of past or future and you suffer. I don't, as I understand the cause, and yet I wonder how to stop it? Do I need to in the first place? Maybe just let everything flow?
I'm sorry for your loss. Friends or relative of friends can impact us in ways we don't understand. However, it is the emotional component that gives memories the power to haunt us or to taunt us. Remove the emotional component by coming to an understanding or releasing it through therapy .... or how ever you want to ... Do you need to remove it?? It is part of what makes us ... us. There is no need to remove your memories. Just reach an understanding of the past and live in the present. Move on. Yeah, words easier said than done. I know.
My advice is that these memories will lessen in intensity if we let it go. Time wounds all heals ... or vicesa versa
What is it that upsets you, is it the death or the reminder of mortality (to u) or the missing of a friend (which is our personal loss because 'my' friend is gone and i can not see him any more).
Everyone handles death differently in a intensely personal way, you will be ok. A friend of mine whilst giving me advice over my own brothers untimely death (if there is such a concept) said 'the loss is never filled you just kinda learn how to deal with it better over time'