Suiwo, the disciple of Hakuin, was a good teacher. On a certain day a certain pupil came to him, and Suiwo gave him the problem, "Hear the sound of one hand."
The pupil remained three years, but could not pass the test. One night he came...
TOPIC: DO YOU HAVE PARENTS THAT WON'T ACCEPT YOU BECAUSE OF ZEN?
Posted on Sep.20.2013 @ 03:03AM EDTbyzenisin
I started a listserv for folks that have these kinds of issues with their parents, here it is. To join simply send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
How can one heal from having narcissistic parents? 1. Typically economic independence is a big one. Parents can use money to manipulate and interfere in the lives of their children. This can be through spoiling the child or depriving the child of what he or she needs. Gradually making it a habit to finance oneself, without relying on money from parents makes separating from a narcissist parent easier. This can become more complicated if the child is still in college or is disabled. 2. It is not beneficial to confront the narcissistic parent in anger. When one learns about narcissist abuse and sees how it has affect his or her life, anger and rage may be the result. Typically confrontations with parents can lead to retaliation by the parent, which may set you back further. Specific instances that have hurt you emotionally can be brought up with the parent, but confronting him/her for being a narcissist is typically not productive. In this case, it is simply better to play it cool and move on with one’s life. 3. Finding support socially: Making and maintaining friendships is important and finding an outlet for your hobbies and interests is as well. One of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a place of belonging. Being born into a narcissistic family means your family of origin cannot fulfill this need. You cannot control where you are born. It’s important to find belonging amongst friends and like-minded individuals. There are more of us out there than you think.
I find it is easier to trust and be with people, who are not from my family. I don't think its just "my" family that's the culprit. I think its the nuclear family as a system that is narcissistic. Such a system may be hostile to ideas like zen buddhism or sexual freedom.
Quote: "I find it is easier to trust and be with people, who are not from my family. I don't think its just "my" family that's the culprit. I think its the nuclear family as a system that is narcissistic. Such a system may be hostile to ideas like zen buddhism or sexual freedom. " .........
I wish you peace and love. Hope you will find the love and trust of the family in your life time.
Often control is an issue and growing up is a battle to gain some freedom. When beliefs conflict, trust becomes an issue.
But, I find love is at the core of most families. Good luck to you.