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  Posted on Aug.08.2009 @ 10:58PM EDT by chontri
What, monks, is the world? The eye and shapes, the ear and sounds,
the nose and smells, the tongue and tastes, the body and tactile objects,
the mind and mental objects - these... continue...

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→→→→ vertical line TOPIC: I HAVE EXPERIENCED KENSHO; HAVE QUESTION ABOUT MEDITATION
vertical line Posted on Jul.20.2014 @ 04:06PM EDT by hellbike
Hello. This qustion is directed to people who really have deep understanding of what meditation is.

I have achieved kensho few years ago - I have no way o proving this and i don't want to discuss about whethever my experience was actually kensho, or not. It last only few moments and i experienced it only once; but it gave me deep understanding of many things.

However, there are things that are difficult to handle for and I seek guidance.

I have achieved it in process of acceptation - and this is how i perceive meditation currently.

I just lie in bed and let my thoughts flow. I accept every scream of my soul; with acceptance comes understanding; and then understanding becomes silence. From silence, self-consciousness, love and happiness are born. Every time i read meditation, i always read about driving off the thoughs, but i do rather opposite. I drive off only uniportant thoughs - like "did i closed the doors?" or "i wonder what mike does right now", and leave everything that i identify with myself. This is what feels right and doing it other way creates inner conflict.

However, this state of mind is easly disturbed, usually by lack of kindness of people around me. And achieving this state of bless usually takes couple hours, sometimes days.

This wouldn't be much of an issue - but the problem is that i suffer from dark past. When my self-consciousness is lost, I'm in depression; i suffer mild social phobia and have no self-esteem.

Because of that, i find it hard to accept my loss of happinness; after it happens, I'm in denial, plunging myself (because, of course - when in denial, I'm unable to get better mentally).

And this is my biggest problem - abandoning state of denial. When in denial, I'm trying to force self-esteem/courage/lack of ego into myself, trying to manipulate my mind in different ways. Of course now i realize that this is pointless; however when I'm denial - I'm usually not aware of that; and once i realize it, it still takes some time to abandon it. Such state may last up to two weeks.

My life often is 1-2 days of happinness, followed by two weeks of depression

Does anyone have any advices, mostly about dealing with state of denial?
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Reply from hellbike
Jul.20.2014
04:12PM EDT 
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vertical line One more thing I'd like to explain. I realize there are many ways to meditate, and perhaps many ways of achieving enlightenment.

When I'm focused on something - like reading book or drawing, it works like meditation and makes me feel much better; but in kind of different way, and usually for shorter period of time.

That's why I'm thinking there may be techniques or tips helpful with my issue.
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Reply from so_teh
Jul.21.2014
12:01AM EDT 
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vertical line Truth, Kensho, Awakening... Words of a different color yet practically meaning the same essence. The denial, depression, darkness is unlimited as much as joyousness is. You are free to move as deeply into denial as long as it is done in the spirit of meditation. These dark moments are free moments
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Reply from so_teh
Jul.21.2014
12:34AM EDT 
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vertical line Emptiness feeling is meditation. In truth, emptiness feeling after kensho demands an unconditional attention, however way you wish to "attend." The "emptiness feeling" is 'an unfathomable.' So, which is, just from my own experience, unbelievable. You are welcome to come here and discuss. But most people won't be receptive to an awakening, anyway. At least here you can just, 'get it out.'
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Reply from Phil Space
Jul.21.2014
07:17AM EDT 
vertical line I don't know anything about most people - they may not even be people.

My tip is gardening, plant alchemy.  Gardening is a good pastime and can encompass guerrila, physic and wildlife, nurturing the earth and the atmosphere, growing food and flowers -  it has meaning for me alone - it may have meaning for you also.  You could take up gardening and / or go for long walks in nature and become an experiment in green - this would help you to meditate on your depression.   
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Reply from so_teh
Jul.21.2014
04:11PM EDT 
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vertical line Meditation is the breath of experience. Experience is synonymous with meditation. Breathing, sitting, however... just do your work and come home, as one should.
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Reply from ---T e
Jul.22.2014
09:22AM EDT 
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxEtaxWgUCA

with regards,

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Reply from Avisitor
Jul.22.2014
10:04AM EDT 
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vertical line The ignorant mind, with its infinite afflictions, passions, and evils, is rooted in the three poisons. Greed, anger, and delusion.

If you use your mind to study reality, you won't understand either your mind or reality. If you study reality without using your mind, you'll understand both.

Bodhidharma
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Reply from Phil Space
Jul.22.2014
12:40PM EDT 
vertical line ThanKong.
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Reply from ---T e
Jul.22.2014
04:06PM EDT 
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vertical line I want to be programmed to white.I don't speak even when I don't see white.I only want white around me.
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Reply from ---T e
Jul.22.2014
04:10PM EDT 
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vertical line by the way who was rude to you hellbike?
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Reply from ---T e
Jul.22.2014
04:28PM EDT 
Email ---T e
vertical line May be you should try Following White Method.You simply follow white in this method.Good for depression, anxiety. anxiety disorder etc.
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Reply from ---T e
Jul.27.2014
04:04PM EDT 
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hellbike Are you on the edge?

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